Last year I made a commitment to myself.
At the time I was standing at a crossroads.
Path #1 meant continuing as I always have, hiding my truest self in an attempt to stay protected. I was headed toward a degree in elementary education, and knew that being in a classroom, teaching other peoples children, and working under an administration meant that I had to keep my personal beliefs off the public radar. I wouldn't have to give up my religion entirely, but it would have to remain an intensely personal experience and I would have to be extremely selective about what I said and to whom I was speaking. In pagan circles they often use the phrase “to be silent” and for good reason. It only takes a quick glance back toward the burning times to realize how easily public opinion can turn against you. And having experienced hateful remarks and sideways glances about my beliefs for my entire life, I know this is the truth. However, choosing Path #1 meant hiding myself for the next thirty years. It meant living my adult life as I had my childhood, in a constant struggle to fit in, to be appropriate and to do what others expected of me even when it conflicted with my own truths and desires.
Path #2 meant stepping off a cliff into the unknown. It meant being brave, and putting a target on my chest. An inner calling has lived in my heart as long as I can remember, and for the past ten years or so has gradually become louder. By the time my Saturn Return hit in December of last year, the calling had become so loud that I could not stamp it out. I am here for women. I am here to inspire and help my fellow sisters rise from the ashes of a now dwindling, unbalanced and tyrannical patriarchal rule that has left us tarnished, hungry and afraid to stand. It's time for the phoenix to rise, for the Sacred Feminine to claim back her rightful place in the balance of life, and I am here to help her do so. Every moment of my life, from the beautiful to the downright painful, has been in preparation for this calling. Taking this path would take great faith. I would have to push through deep seeded fears and do a lot of shadow work in order to heal. I would have to be honest, expose myself and become vulnerable.
As you can see I took the brave first steps onto Path #2 and there is no going back. I feel like I have been freed, like the world has opened up for me. However, there are still so many fears that keep me from moving forward. This website was the first stepping stone, it was a way to get my feet wet. I knew that I needed a platform, and a way to gently guide myself into the light. However, I now hear another call stirring inside. This time I won't wait almost twenty years to answer it. I will trust that this is right, and that receiving this desire at this time means that it is needed. It's time for me to step out of my hermetic cocoon and begin to collaborate with other women.
Avalon Gypsy is my new platform for this dream. I feel a need to create a community where women from around the world can come together to learn, to heal, to be empowered and to soar beyond their wildest dreams. This desire is organic, and has no limitations or end goal. I know that my first step will be to create a quarterly magazine to be published on Winter Solstice, Spring Equinox, Summer Solstice and Fall Equinox. Next year, after this first component is well established, my focus will be on birthing a sacred space for women to gather. Of course the circle of women will meet digitally at first, through podcasts, youtube videos, in our forum, in our facebook group, in google hangouts, webinars and conference calls. Eventually however, my dream is to connect with one another online and in person.
I envision women gathering in circles in communities everywhere, meeting under the moonlight as our priestess ancestors once did - to heal ourselves so that we can heal the world. I want small groups to form organically as women living close by meet one another. I also want large retreats a few times a year where we can all come together and gain the strength needed to carry on our diverse work.
Right now the new website for Avalon Gypsy is in it's beta stage. I need encouragement from my friends, readers and fellow sisters to test out the waters and get a feel for where it needs to flow. If this resonates with you, and you also feel a calling to be a part, here are a few ways you can contribute:
I'm looking forward to creating this new space for my fellow sisters around the world, I can't wait to hear from you!